There are so many things to worry about. Right now, I'm worried. I am worried... scared... terrified... of my future. Somehow, I can say that God is not on my side. It's my fault... I have no one to blame. I did this to myself. When I read the Psalms... I often search for somebody who has sinned against the Lord and still was rescued. I couldn't think of anything else but David. Somehow I feel like how David feel. He felt that God is not on his side. Yet he run to towards God and ask for help. Somehow, that's what I did, I run to God asking for His deliverance and mercy. "In your loving kindness, remember me... Oh Lord". It is my prayer that God will hear me... "that my cry won't fall out in vain." I believed in a BIG GOD who solves big problems. Somehow doubts came to my mind to steal my faith away. It steals my joy also. I need to pray... pray some more for rescue and deliverance. I have always looked on God and he has always rescued me but still I cannot help but look at the wind.

Oh Lord, look at me as if you are looking at the Lord Jesus Christ. Wipe away my transgessions. Clean me and I will be whiter than snow. Wash me clean and deliver me from my sins.

Amen.